A soulmate is often referred to as a person who ‘completes’ you, a twin flame, your other half. We try to turn this concept on its ear. Truthfully, there are now over 8 billion people on the planet. To think that there is only one person on Planet Earth for us is not really statistically possible. In fact, it’s highly improbable.

There are many people that we can have chemistry with and live very content lives in love and maybe even in matrimony if that’s something you wish for. However, the fact remains that a true love relationship is one in which each partner lifts each other up. They don’t ‘complete’ each other as Tom Cruise in the movie Jerry Maguire explicitly states. Rather, the coming together of two people does not create a whole. Rather it’s two whole individuals who complete themselves, coming together to build something greater.

If you want to think of a soulmate as someone outside of yourself, then they should be supportive and loving. This person should be a friend first and foremost. You’ll want to trust them completely, but you must also trust yourself. With more than half of all marriages in the United States ending in divorce – and that trend is not about to end soon – we need to shift the paradigm.

Love yourself first. In order to do that, you must know yourself. That’s why in the Your Own Soulmate (YOS) protocol, we encourage intensive self-reflection and an understanding of what virtues or values our clients have. We walk them through the process of self-love and connection. The old adage, ‘you can’t love someone else until you love yourself’ is trite but there’s truth in it.

Once you know yourself, you will begin to see the beauty and wonder in you. We hope that you learn to love it and appreciate yourself for your uniqueness. There is no one else in the world exactly like you and that’s pretty terrific. As a result, the person you wind up with in a romantic relationship will also be entirely unique, but they can and should have qualities you admire and cultivate in yourself. Like attracts like. Opposing natures and characteristics can work, but not always. You need someone who shares your core values for a love relationship to be successful.

There should also be mutual respect. How are you going to know what respect looks like if you don’t respect yourself? Respecting yourself requires that you have boundaries in place and don’t allow people to treat you like a doormat. Boundaries, in a nutshell, just teach other people how to treat us. In order to set up good boundaries, we have to know what our limits are and not allow others to go beyond them.

It’s not easy to find the ‘one’, but remember you are the one you’ve been looking for. You complete yourself. This concept may be foreign to you, but it will help you find the love you seek. We would love for you to join our YOS classes in 2023 so that you can begin the journey to the center of yourself. Contact Deanna at dcgoodson@gmail.com to get more information and be put on the waiting list.